I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
