Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
