Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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