if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
