I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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