I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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