bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your penis caused this!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
