i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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