I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
