I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
