Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm so fucking centered right now
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
