Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
