My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
