I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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