So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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