you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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