Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
