Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
