matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
