Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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