I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we're making bets on your personal life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
