I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
