Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
