Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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