I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
