party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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