Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
