HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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