did you get engaged???
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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