I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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