Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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