fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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