I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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