btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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