It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
