she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
