I CAN MOONWALK!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
