I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
