you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
