i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
