okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
