After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
