my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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