apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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