Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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