i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
