Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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