That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
