Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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