hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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