the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
