she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
