just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
