just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
