Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
