Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
